Friday, March 2, 2012

Steps for Effective Anger Control

Try out the following set of steps for controlling anger.  I find that making this sort of plan works best if each person in the family uses it and makes their own plan for anger control.  That way, each family member can help the others in controlling anger in healthy ways.


Steps for Effective Anger Control


1.  Learning to recognize anger signs – Help your child learn to recognize these in themselves (i.e., tingling, thumping heart, warm face, voice tone, sweating, rapid breathing).

•Does voice get loud or soft?
•Does body go fast or slow?
•Does body get stiff like a dry noodle?
•Do you breathe faster or slower?
•Do you feel hot or cold anywhere?
•Do your hands get dry or sweaty?
•Do your thoughts go fast or slow?

2.    If your child (or you) feel EVEN 1 of these anger signs then GET OUT OF SITUATION (Calm down space).  DO NOT try to talk or problem-solve until calm.

3.    Learn and use relaxation skills – Teach your child to calm themselves in some way when they notice even one of the above signs


• Take a walk
• Listen to music
• Count to 25
• Splash cold water on face
• Take a shower
• Exercise
• Draw a picture
• Scribble in different colors
• Use deep breathing methods
·        Use cool-down statements (e.g., I have the skills to calm myself down, etc.)

4.  When calm then talk about whatever issue needs to be dealt with.  Resolve the angry situation:

         Use assertive communication

         Use the DECIDE steps